Hello!

Oh my goodness, would you believe if I told you that I have completely forgotten about this blog? Why on earth?! I really wish I had continued this, that I had wrote more, even if about stupid things, but I gotta tell ya, I´m feeling real glad re-reading all my 5 posts and going like "what was I thinking?". LOL. Seriously, it´s funny. I guess I was naive or didn´t really have an identity, maybe I was trying to find myself. Or maybe I was just trying to put my thoughts in writing, like a little journal. I don´t know... But I guess it was enough to make me want to write today. Do people still do that? Blog? Or is it just vlog now that´s more interesting or going on tik tok and I guess shout to the world whatever nonsense. I don´t know, I´m old fashioned, I don´t even have a tik tok account. I like to write. So, lets see, where to begin... 

 Ok, it´s been 8 years since I last posted anything. We´ve been through a pandemic, so there was life before that and life after that. Yes, it was a change of paradigm. But you already know this and it´s all in the past now, I´m just pointing it out for context.

 I had a daughter; she is almost five now. Her name is Cecilia and she is the light of my world. I´m still married, and we are now planning our move to the US. 

Now, who would´ve thought that? If someone had told me how my life would turn about in 2010 when I started this blog, I wouldn´t believe them. I would be like, "don´t be crazy, my life will be so much better!". Little did I know then. Don´t get me wrong, I don´t mean to sound ungrateful or that my life sucks. It´s just that I wanted more, I expected more, but couldn´t really get there. I feel like I failed a little. For instance, I always wanted at least two children but only had one. I feel old now at 44 to be a mother of a baby. I should have had my daughter earlier so that I could have more, but I didn´t, I waited until the clock almost ticket and got pregnant at 39. Also, I should have been more ambitious about my work, so that I could be in a better position now, making more money. But I didn´t. I got comfortable doing what I do, an export analyst, working for the same company for the past 12 years. I don´t own a house, I drive an old car, I didn´t get my dream body, I don´t work out, my face is changing, and sometimes I feel like a teenager still where I haven´t matured enough.

 Ok, this post is turning a bit sad and making me feel like the loser I was way back when, and that is not the case. I have a family which is the one thing I´ve always wanted in life. I have a steady job doing what I love, I have a loving husband, we live close to both our parents, our daughter is a healthy and pretty little girl, and we have a lot of life ahead of us and dreams to fulfill. The year has just started, and we hope this is a year of change and great achievements. Although is getting scary and crazier by the day, we hope in God that things will only get better. 

 So, I guess to resume my life for the past 15 years, I did ok. I have been through a lot. I failed and picked myself up so many times, I have cried and laughed, had ups and downs, moments of complete sadness and complete happiness. That´s how life is, filled with moments, phases, stages. I´m a pre menopause woman, and motherhood taught me that raising a child is the toughest job I´ll ever have to do, but the most fulfilling. Caring for someone other than myself got rid of all the selfishness I had in me and is a really humbling experience. Most of my energy now is towards her education, making sure she will grow up to be strong and smart, hopefully she won´t ever go through what I went and will never make the same mistakes. I hope and pray to God that she leads a beautiful life and I that get to see my grandchildren.

 Anyways, I guess that´s it for now. Maybe I´ll write again in 5 years, or 8. Or maybe I´ll finally give this a go and keep more up to date. Will see. I dont even know if anyone will read this but stay tuned. 

 L